Anthony Bourdain: A Life That Ended Too Early

Far too often the personalities in the food entertainment industry are fake or just paid to promote products. Anthony (Tony) Bourdain was far too real for those celebrity trappings. As the author of Kitchen Confidential, he opened up to reveal the reality of the commercial kitchen and the life of a chef. The glitz and glamour was stripped away to allow the average person into the hot, sweaty, smelly back room that most movies or cooking shows at the time, would never dream of portraying realistically.

Over the years, Tony worked his ass off creating successful restaurants, and eventually as a travel/food show host with an edginess and fervour for the truth and love of food and the culinary industry. He never backed off when it came to what he wanted to say and how he felt about the topic of conversation, or the food itself. In the simplest terms, he was real.

tony b 2

Unfortunately, today we have learned of his untimely death by suicide. I don’t know, nor will I speculate as to his reasoning for taking his own life, but I do know one thing; suicide is almost never the answer. Life is tough, we all have to go through it, but bear in mind that just because you feel one way today, doesn’t mean you will feel that way forever. Once again, I can’t even begin to understand what Tony was going through, however, I am certain that there was someone he could have spoken to, and I know for a fact that his family will have to deal with his decision for a much longer time than he does.

tony b 3

I have been in depressed states in my past with an eye on ending things prematurely, but I credit my strength to my not wanting to let down my family or hurt them in unimaginable ways, and Gary Vaynerchuk, who motivated me to get off my ass and make my life worth living. I just wish that for Tony, he had had the same thought process, and found a reason to keep going.

For those out there that are contemplating suicide, please do yourself and your loved ones a favour; talk about what it is that you are going through. You are not alone, even though it may feel that way sometimes, there is always someone out there that will listen.

Take care of yourselves!

tony b

 

Advertisements

Tolerance is NOT the Word You’re Looking for!

Politicians, celebrities, and other public figures constantly speak of racial tolerance. They try to portray a world where we tolerate individuals that we perceive to be different. Whether it’s skin colour (which is just a difference in the amount of melanin in one’s own epidermis), language (a native tongue used to communicate just like any other language), or country of origin (which is a decision made by our parents and their parents before them), using the word or action of tolerance is a mask for disapproval or hatred that a bigot can hide behind.

Tolerance

Used to convey the action of putting up with something that you don’t care for, tolerance allows narrow-minded individuals to cloak themselves in the veil of acceptance while continuing to fear and prejudge others that are seemingly different. These individuals tolerate different races, religions, and sexual orientations, so that they do not seem like monsters to the people around them. When in fact, from the point-of-view of someone who is truly accepting of others, the only difference between the outspoken haters and the “tolerant” is the volume level at which they project their discomfort with the unknown.

Acceptance

To truly thrive in a multicultural society, we must not tolerate another person’s differences. We hear people speak of being colour blind, and they’ll say things like, “I don’t see skin colour, therefore I’m not racist”, or some bullshit to that effect. Of course you see skin colour. Of course you hear an accent, and it’s not a bad thing. These types of statements try to paint the picture that we are all the exact same, which we are not, and that again, is not a bad thing.

Instead, we should be striving to accept others for who they are, what their culture means to them, and how these things can have a positive effect on our society as a whole.  Ask questions about ideals and behaviours that you don’t understand. Don’t assume something because a biased media outlet said it, and now you think that’s the way it is. People are usually open to answering questions if they feel that you are willing enough to listen to the answer. It is not offensive to someone if you expose your own ignorance and genuinely ask for help in evolving as a person. With an evolution in mindset and personal view of others, an unimaginable number of doors can open, and the world will simultaneously become larger than you ever thought possible, and smaller when you realize that humans, regardless of origins, are all seeking the same thing.

Love

Far too often, love is reserved only for a spouse or family member. Sometimes we feel love or a connection to someone we find inspiring or possibly even idolize. But not often enough do we feel love for people around us in everyday situations. It is not expected that we all become best friends and want to be together every waking moment, however, showing kindness, empathy, and embracing acceptance of one another will be the true saviour of humankind.

Your Assignment for Every Day of Your Life

Make a new friend, strike up a conversation, or simply hold the door open for someone. A bit of effort goes a long way in making someone’s life a little better, and increasing the levels of acceptance and comfort within your community. As the Beatles once put it, and it will ring true for the rest of time, “Love is all you need.”

acceptance

Daily Prompt: Toxic

via Daily Prompt: Toxic

7 Signs That You Work In A Toxic Environment

A job I once had provided an unwanted look into what a toxic work environment can be. It frustrated me everyday, and quickly turned into something I loathed thinking about, even during my off time. The signs of a toxic environment are not always easily identifiable, but once you are made aware of what they look like, recognizing them is simple. What you do after that is up to you.

  1. You have a boss, not a leader.

A real leader is willing to put in work alongside their employees, not crack a whip from the safety of an office. They don’t point fingers and search for someone to blame if something goes wrong either. Instead, an effective leader will work with the team or individual to improve their understanding and hopefully their results.

2. Management is feared, not respected.

Ruling through fear only works for someone who doesn’t understand what respect is or how it works. However, most adults in the workforce fully understand that by showing respect, they get it in return. This creates a positive cycle of respect being shown to everyone else that they may encounter throughout the day. As a result of a positive and respectful work environment, there will inevitably be an increase in productivity and morale.

3. Only failures are recognized, not successes.

Every manager is different. The good ones will point out successes, either through email, a private conversation, or in front of colleagues and co-workers. They will also point out failures, but usually behind closed doors, and will be willing to spend time to help you correct the issue. A bad manager tends to only dwell on failures, call you out like a child in front of everyone, and can even stoop so low as to continually bring up old failures, even in unrelated situations. These bad managers will almost never give you recognition or praise for your success.

4. Absentee ownership.

This is more important to the health of the company than the individual employee. Absentee ownership is probably the worst offence an entrepreneur can can commit. If you’re 65 years old and have a well established team, perhaps you can take more time off, but if your company is struggling, it, as well as the employees, can benefit by having you spend more time there, not less.

5. Unhealthy competition.

Sales competitions can be a great motivator, helping to drive in some extra revenue, especially in the slow times when employees can tend to get complacent. But overlapping of territories or customers can result in animosity between employees, and a disdain for the manager who implemented the contest. Hopefully, any form of competition is well thought out ahead of time, and outlined in full detail with the employees before it begins.

6. Drugs and alcohol at work.

This is pretty straightforward. Drugs and alcohol consumed at work is dangerous to everyone, and a sign of a serious addiction. If anyone is at the point that they require drugs and/or alcohol to get through the day, serious psychological help should be acquired.

7. Nepotism.

In my experience, when I worked for family members, I was always expected to output more effort and productivity than other employees. It taught me that regardless of how I got my job, I had to work to keep it. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Too often, family members are hired, put in a few years of actual work, then coast for the rest of their career. Ultimately, they manufacture a sense of entitlement, which leads to an abuse of power, unprofessional actions, and a distrust between the employees and employer.

Daily Prompt: Betrayed

via Daily Prompt: Betrayed

In the past, I have felt betrayed by outside sources, be it an individual, or a business. I would feel that they owed me something and when I didn’t receive anything in return for my efforts, I just wanted to turn my back on them. This fed into a certain level of depression and loss of self-worth, which I, in turn, used as fuel to accelerate my anger and frustration.

Over the last year, I have been working toward the betterment of myself, by taking the advice of Gary Vaynerchuk, whom I look to as sort of a spiritual guide, so to speak. He is as forward with his message as I tend to be with mine, which can be overwhelming for some, but necessary for all.

As a result of this new self awareness and motivation, I now understand that the only one who has ever betrayed me, is myself.

You Need More Gary Vee in Your Life

“Get off your ass, find out what you’re fucking good at, and triple down on that thing.”

This was the first line I had ever heard from Gary Vaynerchuk aka. Gary Vee. He’s rough around the edges, he’s unorthodox, and he’s unapologetically straightforward. Gary takes the message of motivational speakers like Tony Robbins, flips it on its head, and beats you with it, but he’s not trying to be a jerk, just a realist.

Last year I was unemployed, stressed, angry, and sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. As I would do most days, I found myself searching for jobs that I didn’t want, and scrolling through the endless feeding trough of Facebook. I was consuming mostly mental garbage, when I stumbled across a video of Gary. He was harsh and he cursed a lot, but he told the truth and his words resonated with me. “If you’re lucky enough to be good at what you like, become tunnel fucking vision,” exclaims Gary. “The reason most people are not doing that thing [they’re supposed to] is they’re worried about the opinion of somebody else.” It was there and then that I stopped trying to live up to what I believed others expected of me, and decided to pursue a career in what I have always loved as a hobby, writing.

I have since been following Gary on different social media platforms, and have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I know that I am not unique in this personal revelation as millions of people following him throughout social media share similar stories. Gary also has dozens to hundreds of people voluntarily showing up to his “meet-ups”, which are impromptu gatherings in whatever city he finds himself that day, and are initiated through his social media channels. He openly answers questions, and to his benefit, has a chance to network with new and interesting people. He gives sound business and personal advice by telling people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear

Gary the Entrepreneur

At a very young age, Gary was already an entrepreneur. He would buy, sell, and trade baseball cards, comic books, and toys on the weekends, making himself thousands of dollars in the process. After graduating from college, Gary began working at his father’s liquor store. He transformed it from a 3 million dollar company into a 60 million dollar empire called the Wine Library in just 5 years. From his success in the wine industry, he branched out to digital marketing and investments by starting the companies Vayner Media and Vayner X. He has worked with Fortune 500 companies such as PepsiCo, Anheuser-Busch, and General Electric, and helped and invested in successful tech start-ups such a Twitter, Tumblr, and Uber. He continues to invest in new companies, start new businesses, and has recently been working with individual social media and music personalities, such as Rome Fortune and Tierra Whack, helping them to forward their own careers.

Gary believes that social media is the most powerful tool in business today and anyone not using it to its full potential results in missing numerous opportunities. Much like a contractor, he understands that the use of every tool (social media outlet) is necessary to do the job effectively. “If you have the greatest hammer, the greatest screwdriver, and the greatest wrench in front of you. If you don’t use them properly, you will lose,” he says.

Purchasing ad space on Facebook can help, but getting into the heads of your target market and penetrating all of the media channels available today is the way to truly win. He uses his own advice in all of his businesses by working 16-18 hours per day and providing content and information about his companies, his personal brand, and his mentorship to his followers and fans on a daily basis. He speaks mainly of his successes, failures, the realities of business, and the amount of hustle required in order to succeed.

For people like me who are relatively new to Gary Vee and his accomplishments, he can conveniently be lumped into a sea of social media personalities. However, unlike most people making money from social media and documenting their entire lives for the world to see, Gary understands how and why social media celebrity works.

Gary continues to be highly influential and a driving force behind a number of young entrepreneurs. He doles out new business ideas, by the mouthful, and when asked if he cares about people stealing his ideas, his answer is as direct as can be expected. “Ninety-nine point nine percent of people listening will not think twice about these ideas. Of the few that will, maybe one or two people will actually attempt to make it happen,” he says. Gary fully understands the reserved state of mind possessed by the typical human being, and does not fear having an idea “stolen” by someone. He would rather see someone take his idea, make it happen, and ask for advice if they get stumped somewhere throughout the process.

Gary Vee’s underlying message to anyone willing to listen is simple; self-awareness is the key to personal growth and success, love the process, put in the work, “don’t give a fuck about others’ opinions of your failures,” and patience, patience, patience. With a global following of millions of people ages 13-80, many successful businesses, and a keen eye for the next big thing, Gary isn’t just playing the game and winning, he’s rewriting the rules.