Tolerance is NOT the Word You’re Looking for!

Politicians, celebrities, and other public figures constantly speak of racial tolerance. They try to portray a world where we tolerate individuals that we perceive to be different. Whether it’s skin colour (which is just a difference in the amount of melanin in one’s own epidermis), language (a native tongue used to communicate just like any other language), or country of origin (which is a decision made by our parents and their parents before them), using the word or action of tolerance is a mask for disapproval or hatred that a bigot can hide behind.

Tolerance

Used to convey the action of putting up with something that you don’t care for, tolerance allows narrow-minded individuals to cloak themselves in the veil of acceptance while continuing to fear and prejudge others that are seemingly different. These individuals tolerate different races, religions, and sexual orientations, so that they do not seem like monsters to the people around them. When in fact, from the point-of-view of someone who is truly accepting of others, the only difference between the outspoken haters and the “tolerant” is the volume level at which they project their discomfort with the unknown.

Acceptance

To truly thrive in a multicultural society, we must not tolerate another person’s differences. We hear people speak of being colour blind, and they’ll say things like, “I don’t see skin colour, therefore I’m not racist”, or some bullshit to that effect. Of course you see skin colour. Of course you hear an accent, and it’s not a bad thing. These types of statements try to paint the picture that we are all the exact same, which we are not, and that again, is not a bad thing.

Instead, we should be striving to accept others for who they are, what their culture means to them, and how these things can have a positive effect on our society as a whole.  Ask questions about ideals and behaviours that you don’t understand. Don’t assume something because a biased media outlet said it, and now you think that’s the way it is. People are usually open to answering questions if they feel that you are willing enough to listen to the answer. It is not offensive to someone if you expose your own ignorance and genuinely ask for help in evolving as a person. With an evolution in mindset and personal view of others, an unimaginable number of doors can open, and the world will simultaneously become larger than you ever thought possible, and smaller when you realize that humans, regardless of origins, are all seeking the same thing.

Love

Far too often, love is reserved only for a spouse or family member. Sometimes we feel love or a connection to someone we find inspiring or possibly even idolize. But not often enough do we feel love for people around us in everyday situations. It is not expected that we all become best friends and want to be together every waking moment, however, showing kindness, empathy, and embracing acceptance of one another will be the true saviour of humankind.

Your Assignment for Every Day of Your Life

Make a new friend, strike up a conversation, or simply hold the door open for someone. A bit of effort goes a long way in making someone’s life a little better, and increasing the levels of acceptance and comfort within your community. As the Beatles once put it, and it will ring true for the rest of time, “Love is all you need.”

acceptance

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Advice: Take or Leave it!

For years my father has told me that “Advice is free, just listen. After that you can choose to use, or completely ignore it.” For years I told him, “Whatever dad, you don’t know about this”. This statement may have been true, but without giving him a chance to give me the advice I would never have found out.

So, what drove me to not even want to listen to him? Some may say I was stubborn or disobedient, but I feel that this rejection of his words and experience was derived from something far more dangerous. Pride. Not the kind of pride that I felt when I’d win a race or game, or the pride my parents felt when I would achieve something. This is the kind of foolish pride that keeps normal, free thinking individuals from accepting help and ultimately achieving more in life. I would shut myself off from outside opinions because I thought that I knew best and there was nothing that anyone could tell me that would make me see differently.

My foolish pride lasted until the very last day that I spoke to my ex-girlfriend back in early 2005. We were hanging out in my parents’ basement and we were both really into playing the guitar. I was never very good and her skills were a little less than mine but we had some written music that I was able to decipher. There were two parts to the song, rhythm and lead, and I had already figured out the rhythm section and was about to move on when I decided that maybe this would be a good time to teach her the rhythm, then I could learn the lead over top of what she was playing. She wasn’t having any of it. She demanded that she figure out the rhythm section on her own. So I left it alone.

After a half hour of listening to her unsuccessful attempts I decided that I would insist on helping her as this was making for a boring night. I offered to help her once again, and this time she exploded on me, calling me every name in the book, (this was a volatile relationship and the end was nearing, regardless of this fight) she picked up her guitar and stormed out of the house.

Our relationship ended that night and we haven’t spoken since.

What I learned from that night was that if you are too proud to accept advice, you can waste a lot of time running around in circles. If you are open to someone’s words and experiences, it may set you on a straight path to your goal.

Since then, I have always made sure to listen to people’s advice. Once they are finished I can choose whether to Take it or Leave it.