The Steps to My Personal Success

The journey to discover my passion started in a state of depression, caused by unemployment, self-entitlement, and a million excuses.

I would sit around expecting things to happen to me. But I was playing a fool’s game. My sense of entitlement and unwarranted expectations only served to drag me down further. That is until the day I discovered Gary Vaynerchuk (aka Gary Vee) and my life was changed forever.

In order to find happiness in my career there were a number of steps that I had to go through. It eventually took a multitude of sources to allow me to progress through the stages of finding myself, but Gary Vee was the one that was able to get me started on that path. As I discovered each one, I did my best to make note of everything and appreciate those people that have assisted in this journey.

I now offer my discoveries and process for turning my life around to anyone that may feel lost and is looking to do the same.

Step #1 – Self-Awareness

little boy, discovery, self awareness

Self-awareness is more than simply self-consciousness. I believe it requires self-discovery that can only be achieved through vulnerability and the strength to ask yourself introspective questions. Gary Vee’s has a more in-your-face approach to anyone seeking a starting point or making excuses for why they are not successful, but the message is the same.

What makes you tick? What motivates you to get up in the morning? And most importantly, what are the things that you dislike and know you won’t enjoy doing?

Think of general topics such as helping others, being a leader, storytelling, creating art, public speaking, and the list goes on. Do not expect to find your passion in this step, even though it is a possibility. Rather, try to understand how you function as an individual and what drives your ambition.

After asking myself these questions among others, I discovered that for the most part, I hated the things I had been doing. I couldn’t stand selling products or services anymore, I hated repetitive manual labour and my body just couldn’t take it. I also found that the photography and videography industries, at least the parts I enjoyed, moved too slowly for my level of patience. But mostly I began to understand that I enjoy conversing, teaching, and creating.

It was then that I found my calling.

Step #2 – Finding Your Passion

Finding my passion came out of two realizations. The first being the result of my trials through self-awareness and the second from a YouTube video I saw that had to do mainly with business and marketing. However, I was able to apply it to my personal life and discover my purpose.

In 2009, Simon Sinek published his book Start With Why,which led to his now famous Ted Talk that many marketing firms and institutions use as an example of successful marketing. It was all about finding your Why.As he spoke, I likened it to my own search for purpose. I found that I wanted to do something that I could create on my own, at my own pace. I love storytelling and developing new ideas and I found that my calling is writing.

Unfortunately, I had always had doubts as I was led to believe that writers are broke, depressed, and often stuck in a rut from which they never emerge. As this doubt ate away at me, I turned back to my old ways of getting high and sitting around watching YouTube. There I stumbled across a short clip of Gary Vee on Joe Rogan’s Podcast, and he said something that cemented my decision. 

Step #3 – Triple Down on What You’re Good At

triple down, playing cards, poker, poker chips

“If you’re lucky enough to love something that you’re good at, become Tunnel. Fucking. Vision.” This was the line by Gary that truly spoke to me. He followed up that sentiment on other videos, stating that I should, “Triple down on what [I’m] good at.” And he was unbelievably correct. 

He also drilled into my mind to tell the naysayers to go fuck themselves; that their negative opinions were not worth listening to. The doubts I previously had were quickly washed away, and I embraced any support I was given. I also knew that this was something I had to do regardless of the opinions of others.

As a subsection of step number three, you could find yourself a support person; someone who will act as sort of a cheerleader for your new journey. While not completely necessary, I would have probably stumbled a bit was it not for the support of my wife and parents.

It was then that I decided to go back to school for some online writing courses through a local community college. I also picked up a full time retail job, which I knew was a short-term play, and that my career would be spent writing.

The program was short and I was able to finish it, doing very well, in just over a year. In that time I heeded some more advice from both Gary and an eye-opening conversation that I had with my wife’s cousin.

Step #4 – Hard Work and Hustle

hard work, hustle, dirty hands

Gary is constantly talking about hustle and hard work, but I didn’t really know where to start. However, I remembered a conversation with my wife’s cousin that gave a real world example of what hustle truly looks like.

She was in the process of hiring someone for a junior position at her place of employment. She had dozens of candidates that were filtered through and she whittled her options down to less than a half dozen interviews. 

All the young women that she interviewed had similar education and credentials. How she made her choice was based on a single question she asked each of them. “You graduated six months ago, what have you been doing since then?” Nearly every one of them answered in a similar fashion, “I have been job searching.” 

The person she did end up hiring had a different answer, which proved that she would definitely be the right fit for the job. Her answer was that while she had been searching for the right junior position, she was also working a part time job and volunteering. This statement displayed that she never wasted a minute. She found things to both keep her occupied and add value to the organizations she was affiliated without ever losing sight of her goals.

This story taught me about how hard work is valued beyond grades and the status of an education facility and motivated me to push past simply doing assignments and forgetting about them afterward. Instead, I worked incredibly hard to produce the best work possible, followed by pitching article ideas to magazines to get them published.

I am proud to say that in my first year of writing I had a few very short articles published on educational sites, a 2000+ word profile piece on a local musician and producer published in an online magazine, and two print articles published, one at 500 words and the other at around 2000 words for a 6 page spread. 

Without the constant push to hustle, none of these articles would have ever come to fruition. It was that willingness to hustle that also landed me a full-time job as a content writer.

Step #5 – Evolution of Self

Evolution of self, butterfly, cocoon, larva

Regardless of your chosen path, the best way to learn is to read, watch, retain, and most importantly – PRACTICE! Even with this article, I am practicing for the next one I write. My belief is that, should I cease to evolve, I cease to be what inherently makes me human.

So where do I find these learning opportunities? Everywhere! I will Google a specific query the second it pops into my head. I listen to podcasts and watch videos of people or topics that interest me and do my very best to actually listen. I engage in conversations with family, friends, co-workers, and strangers, which can be an excellent source of information and opinions. I also have the ability to pull information out of people and get them to open up in a way that sometimes even surprises them, and there’s no secret to it. It’s just a matter of shutting up and actually listening instead of just waiting for my turn to talk.

There are an unlimited amount of resources available today beyond that of traditional school that so many people don’t take full advantage of. These learning opportunities as well as seeking out new experiences are the way to truly grow as a person.

The saying knowledge is power is more relevant today than it has ever been, and that will not be changing anytime soon.

Step #6 – Consistency

I am currently working on improving in this area, as it is a task that’s never completed. Going back to the man that started me on this journey, Gary has said it time and time again that consistency is key to building anything. It goes hand in hand with step number four and is the way to not only remain relevant within your career, industry, etc. It is theway brands, businesses, and individuals achieve greatness.

Consistency also does not mean unoriginal repetition, but rather it is an ode to work ethic, creativity, and the ability to stick with something in both the good times and bad. If you are able to do so, you are almost guaranteed to achieve success to whatever level you wish.

Step #7 – Now That You Helped Yourself, Help Others

helping hand

Applying every bit of my being got me a career in a field that I love. While I did the work, it took some tough love to kick-start my journey, something that those who’ve achieved success should be paying forward. Rarely do people do it all on their own. Almost all of the time there is some outside motivation that acts as a catalyst in your journey toward success.

This list is not the definitive way to achieve your dream, but merely the process, which I developed and took note of as I was navigating through my own adventure. I offer it to you as a guideline, but your path belongs only to you and how you choose to pursue it is solely in your hands.

I’d say good luck, but luck has very little to do with it. 

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Advice: Take or Leave it!

For years my father has told me that “Advice is free, just listen. After that you can choose to use, or completely ignore it.” For years I told him, “Whatever dad, you don’t know about this”. This statement may have been true, but without giving him a chance to give me the advice I would never have found out.

So, what drove me to not even want to listen to him? Some may say I was stubborn or disobedient, but I feel that this rejection of his words and experience was derived from something far more dangerous. Pride. Not the kind of pride that I felt when I’d win a race or game, or the pride my parents felt when I would achieve something. This is the kind of foolish pride that keeps normal, free thinking individuals from accepting help and ultimately achieving more in life. I would shut myself off from outside opinions because I thought that I knew best and there was nothing that anyone could tell me that would make me see differently.

My foolish pride lasted until the very last day that I spoke to my ex-girlfriend back in early 2005. We were hanging out in my parents’ basement and we were both really into playing the guitar. I was never very good and her skills were a little less than mine but we had some written music that I was able to decipher. There were two parts to the song, rhythm and lead, and I had already figured out the rhythm section and was about to move on when I decided that maybe this would be a good time to teach her the rhythm, then I could learn the lead over top of what she was playing. She wasn’t having any of it. She demanded that she figure out the rhythm section on her own. So I left it alone.

After a half hour of listening to her unsuccessful attempts I decided that I would insist on helping her as this was making for a boring night. I offered to help her once again, and this time she exploded on me, calling me every name in the book, (this was a volatile relationship and the end was nearing, regardless of this fight) she picked up her guitar and stormed out of the house.

Our relationship ended that night and we haven’t spoken since.

What I learned from that night was that if you are too proud to accept advice, you can waste a lot of time running around in circles. If you are open to someone’s words and experiences, it may set you on a straight path to your goal.

Since then, I have always made sure to listen to people’s advice. Once they are finished I can choose whether to Take it or Leave it.