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TOOL 2023

Posted on by Ceeyar

Last time I saw Tool (Nov. 2019) I thought the band had reached the pinnacle of its evolution. Boy, was I fuckin wrong.

These motherfuckers blew through the stratosphere and into another dimension.

It’s hard to put into words what it was like at the 2023 tour but I’ll try (sorry if I fuck it up).

Not-so-frontman, Maynard, started out the show by inviting us all on a journey. In his usual, playful yet almost condescending tone, something Tool fans have come to love about him, he asked, no- told us to put our phones away. 

“It’s two hours. Just put the phone in your pocket. Don’t worry, it’s still there.”

– Loud mouth on stage

He was right. It was still there.

The band was phenomenal as always. Hard hitting, and as a friend of mine put it – face melting.

But the hard focus was Danny Carey playing the role of ringleader. It was emphasized by the fact that he was most brightly lit, forcing you to hone in on him and let the show blur into your periphery. By doing so, it ceased to be a standard concert and became its own living, breathing entity.

Every song punched you right in the soul with the combination of otherworldly lights and 3D graphics, not just feeding off the music but more so a visual representation of its essence.

Audible exhales after each ride- I mean song, could be heard all around. Without much time to process what the fuck just happened, Tool unapologetically escorted onlookers through the ensuing roller coaster of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and discovery.

While the entire show was a mind-blowing joyride of insanity, a few tracks stood out.

Descending | Rosetta Stoned | Invincible | Jambi because it’s both a killer tune, and Canadian rock legend Alex Lifeson of Rush joined in on guitar.

For the last track, the phones came out. Maynard even called out some of the rule breakers that decided their shitty cell phone quality videos were worth the risk of getting their asses booted out the door. Normally, the phones would’ve been a distraction, but somehow the glowing screens like twinkling stars in the obsidian sky managed to add to the atmosphere.

All-in-all I went in knowing I’d get a great show. But I didn’t think I’d end up with a near life altering experience.

Thanks, Tool. You did it again.

The Infamous Andrew Schulz

Posted on by Ceeyar

After three years of following his every move, from two different podcasts, to a crowd work special (one full hour of fucking with audience members), three appearances on JRE, and a monstrous covid special called Schulz Saves America, which was a commercial success but slammed by dildos like Seth Simons from Humorism (ironically a site that features no humor and actually hates comedy), I’ve finally had the privilege to see Andrew Schulz live on his 2021/2022 Infamous Tour. And he did not disappoint.

Sidebar: I missed the Matador Tour and I’ve been kicking myself ever since.

Andrew Schulz in Schulz Saves America
Andrew tellin’ it like it is in his Netflix Special: Schulz Saves America

As the kids say, “I don’t want to blow up his spot”, so I won’t be transcribing jokes or any of that nonsense, as it won’t do this comedic master any justice, and also, it’s just not right.

From the opening five minute countdown, designed to get the stragglers and drunks to their seats, right off the hop, I knew this show was going to be different. Instead of simply creating a boring ass plain timer (white text on a black background), it was accompanied by a video compilation of behind the scenes footage and live shows from earlier in the tour, some Canadian news clips pointing to the stringent mandates and restrictions us as Canadians have had to endure, and some from the Flagrant 2 podcast that had the entire audience roaring. 

The host of the evening was a gentleman by the name of Deric Poston (@dericposton), who got the crowd warmed up with jokes that aren’t for the faint of heart. He has an early-years Dave Chappelle style that will likely evolve into something very unique and special.

The featured comedian was Mark Gagnon, pronounced GAG-NON (@markygagnon), a dude that just looks like he surfs all day. He’s a mainstay on the Flagrant 2 podcast and has a laid back approach that feels more like riffing than a precisely sculpted set, but that’s the key to great comedy – making it sound and feel natural.

The propping up of friends, Deric and Mark, as well as other up-and-coming comics reminded me of the influence that Joe Rogan (a friend of Andrew’s) has had on the comedy scene. And it’s that style of paying it forward that not only makes these two comedic murderers likeable, but also commendable in their selfless actions.

Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh on the Flagrant 2 podcast.
Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh spittin’ fire on the Flagrant 2 podcast.

Then it was time for the HEAVIES!

Coming out to strobe lights, pounding hype music, and bearing a robe like he was about to enter a Barstool Rough and Rowdy fight if it were being hosted on a certain part of Church St. (you know the area), the Infamous Andrew Schulz graced an eager crowd with his presence.

He took no time, launching into jokes about the city, and a host of topics I don’t want to give away, to beating the crap out of the egos of anyone in sight. 

With an approach to comedy that has always been truthful and articulate, yet unapologetic in the dark alleys he’ll explore, Andrew spent the next hour leading a very trusting audience hand-in-hand into the beautifully sinful, subterranean world of the Andrew Schulz mind. Something Massey Hall thought a few thousand adults weren’t mature enough to handle.

A special thank you goes out to Meridian Hall for acting like a professional business instead of a woke activist.

To wrap up the night, Andrew threw in a little Neil Young jab, which flew over most of the crowd’s heads, as he draped his arm over one lucky fan, and the music of the superior Neil began to play. The standing ovation turned into a sing-along that had all 3000+ brilliant idiots partaking in the Infamous Andrew Schulz signature sign-off.

It may not be the greatest show on the planet… yet. But there’s still a lot of time for Andrew Schulz, and I can’t wait to see what he’s gonna do next!

Here’s a little clip for those that didn’t make it or those looking for a refresher on that great night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWiQ08-ah3Y

TOOL: Fear Inoculum Tour

Posted on by Ceeyar

In my 23 years of being a TOOL fan and having seen the band live eight times, I can confidently state that the Fear Inoculum Tour harboured their best performance I’ve ever been fortunate enough to experience. And an experience it was.

The Show

The colourfully vibrant visual effects rocked the senses beyond that of any previous concert. Mind bending projections and lasers engulfed the backdrop. Moving lighting rigs pulsed like the music’s heartbeat. And an innovative use of ropes that performed like a transparent screen between the crowd and the stage offered a level of depth that perfectly matched the depth of what I call TOOL’s rock symphonies. After many years of evolution, TOOL’s show has finally become a cohesive unit to make one of the most complete concert experiences ever. 

The only downfall would have been for anyone at extreme viewing angles. Since the visually captivating effects are designed from a front-and-centre vantage point, experiencing what the light and stage technicians intended would require a seat from approximately somewhere in front of the stage. The difference between a head-on view and what the people saw at those extreme angles is the difference between just watching and truly experiencing the show.

The Band

Danny Carey was tight as hell, hitting every beat and carrying the tempo on his shoulders as only a man of his stature and ability can. As one of the best drummers in the world today, Carey had no problem executing with pinpoint precision for the entire length of the set. 

Justin Chancellor’s bass didn’t just add subterranean frequencies, it packaged and air mailed them via a drop kick directly to your chest. To hear a slappy bass or just a low end can be a treat, but Chancellor took the instrument’s potential to a new level.

Adam Jones’ guitar sang every song like Luciano Pavarotti, absolutely nailing all intended notes, noises, and nuances. His artistic creativity was on full display and we as adoring fans lapped it up gratefully.   

Maynard was… well… Maynard. Thunderous vocals, angelic melodies, strange animal like movements made him the icing on the TOOL cake. 

The Finale

TOOL covered songs from every album, save for Undertow, providing a more than acceptable cross-section of their musical catalogue. However, the final song, Stinkfist, was preceded by something not normally seen at TOOL’s shows. Maynard allowed everyone to take out their phones, even jokingly calling for the security to “stand down”. Unfortunately, the irony was probably lost on the majority of the audience, since the song is about the ongoing cycle of boredom and stimulus. Nevertheless, fans itching to use their little digital comfort rectangles didn’t hesitate to whip them out and film the entire closer.

While they were busy screwing around with zooming, getting a steady shot, and optimizing their audio, none of which would ever do it justice, magic was unfolding before their very eyes, as was something else. 

The way the band left the stage felt almost like a farewell. Since the new album is advertised as the culmination of TOOL’s evolutionary music, it’s only fitting for this to be the final tour, with all the members open to go on to whatever other projects they’d like. While I hope this isn’t the case, there was an overwhelming feeling of closure. 

TOOL may very well be done, but the music, the community, and the inspiration of their art will live on. Who knows? Maybe they’ll release a new album in 20 years called “Afterlife” or maybe not.

Cheers to Danny, Adam, Justin, and Maynard for all the great music, and to the stage, lighting, and sound crew for the absolutely mind blowing experience.