You’re a Madman, Bill Burr!

Is he angry? I don’t know. Is he serious? Not sure about that one either. Is he funny? To absolutely mind-blowing extents. 

Bill Burr has been in the comedy scene since 1992. He’s appeared on every podcast worth noting, been on and destroyed a litany of morning shows, acted in movies and on TV, stars in his own animated series F is for Family, and has put out 10 specials/albums to date. His resume is as impressive as his ability to win, lose and win back an audience.

His style is not as cynical as legends like Bill Hicks or George Carlin, but his frustration at the absurdity of today’s world certainly is. Often, I’ll watch one of his specials and my wife will say, “He sounds just like you.” Which he does. Except Bill has the ability to make it funny and palatable for audiences.

Bill’s stand-up touches on many facets of his life including his dog, his wife, his daughter, extended family, and branches out to things like the #metoo movement, and cultural and racial differences. Normally a pasty, bald (used to be a redhead), white male would receive all kinds of flack for even mentioning the latter subjects. However, Bill Burr is so outraged by the outrage that it implodes the whole idea, all while making valid points about how we’ve gone too far in some instances.

Bill doesn’t like to hold back and he shouldn’t. Part of what he does is say the things that we’re all thinking and then he’ll turn around and point out that we’ve made it weird. He can often be heard mid-set saying, “Look how awkward it got in here!” That’s because as he tells it like it is, most people begin to cringe since they themselves are too afraid to ever say or do something that goes against social norms, no matter how ridiculous those norms might be. Not Bill. He loves ribbing the audience and pointing out their own hypocrisy.

Bill is a much needed treasure in the world of comedy, and even more necessary as the world at large becomes increasingly more politically correct.

Cheers to Bill and all of his accomplishments thus far!

Bill Burr’s comedic styling can be found pretty much everywhere and his new special, Paper Tiger is streaming on Netflix now!

The Great and Powerful, Joe Rogan!

Joe Rogan has been in the comedy scene for over 30 years. Starting out of Boston, he’s risen to immeasurable fame within the industry. It’s not just his comedy that has gotten him to this point, but a collection of endeavors that all have one thing in common – talking.

Joe is an orator and renaissance man. He may refer to himself as a “chimp” or a “dummy” but it is precisely that type of self criticism and lack of hubris that makes him so appealing to so many. His jobs include stand up comedy (of course), commentary for the UFC, and host of the Joe Rogan Experience (JRE), one of the most popular podcasts available today.

I first saw Joe as the host of Fear Factor, which basically had him convincing people on TV to eat bull penises, lock themselves in glass cases with insects or snakes, or do death defying stunts that most viewers wouldn’t even attempt to fathom. At the time I had no idea that Joe Rogan was a stand up comedian.

It wasn’t until I saw a DVD copy of Joe Rogan: Live at a local music store that I realized what his true career was. I got it home popped it in and was blown away by his style and the content of the set. He spoke (more so yelled) about all kinds of absurdity, but it was his courage to dive into these weird topics and come out on the other side with something absolutely hilarious that provided an instantaneous appreciation for the comedic style and unapologetic nature of the content. It truly was out there.

I have since watched his other specials, seen him live, and have been an avid listener of JRE to get my daily dose of all things Joe Rogan. His drive and fearlessness has earned him incredible success at a level that grants him the ability to effectively promote other comedians. To date he’s helped many up-and-coming young comics to get the recognition they deserve. He’s established new podcasts for other comedians that wouldn’t have done it without his help and continued to entertain and educate his listeners on the inner workings of comedy.

When it comes to stand-up, the only time Joe is cynical, pessimistic, negative or whatever you want to call it, is when he’s doing his best to discredit hacks, joke thieves, “woke” journalists with an agenda, or to shed light on how selfish some of the industry pros were, back when he started.

One of the only advocates for the industry as a whole, Joe Rogan fights for what he believes in, which is his family, friends, and the right for all of us to enjoy great comedy!

Joe Rogan’s comedy specials can be found on Netflix and YouTube and the Joe Rogan Experience can be found anywhere you’d listen to podcasts.

It’sa Me, Sebastian Maniscalco!

He’s animated, he’s hilarious, he’s oddly insightful, and he’s possibly a little crazy. But seriously, who in history has been raised in a heavily Italian household and isn’t just a tiny bit out of their fuckin’ minds?

Sebastian’s comedy covers a variety of topics, but my favorites are his upbringing with Italian parents and the difference between being a good and a bad host. Not the kind that we see late night TV or awards shows, but the kind that has you over for a dinner party. These two topics hit home for me, as they do for so many others.

From his disdain for bad hosts that don’t offer enough food to going out of his way to be a great host and making sure his guests have everything they need, Sebastian finds the funny in every little aspect of this uncomfortable ritual. I’m actually surprised some young intern at HGTV or the Food Network hasn’t pitched the idea for Sebastian to host a show about how to properly host dinner guests.

As for his insight into the Italian-American household, I have a hard time watching and often have to stop it several times throughout the bit.The only reason it’s a struggle is because he’s nailed the family life and all of the nuances so perfectly. I often end up in such a deep state of laughter that I go silent and I can’t actually keep my eyes open. In fact, I watched his special Why Would You Do That? from 2016 just recently and my face started cramping and I think I temporarily went blind when he spoke about his parents.

Sebastian also has a way of blending physical comedy with truly funny setups and punchlines. The physical presentation serves as a way to increase the impact of the joke while not relying solely on it, which is a sign of a very well-rounded and experienced comedian.

According to Joe Rogan who has so much insight into comedians and comedy, Sebastian has really hit his stride in the last few years. So much so that he’s propelled himself to the point of selling out Madison Square Garden four times, apparently setting a North American record. I for one, hope he continues to be “in the zone” for a long time to come.

Thanks to Sebastian for the stroll down memory lane and the reminder that continued hard work eventually pays off. Salut!

You can find out more about Sebastian Maniscalco on his website: sebastianlive.com/home/

Andrew Schulz: Master of YouTube

I discovered Andrew Schulz like I do most underrated comics, through the Joe Rogan Experience. I thought it was one of the funniest long form conversations I had ever heard. Andrew was side-splittingly hilarious, he even had Joe in stitches the majority of the time.

I found him so funny mainly because he was so authentic and not afraid to say what was on his mind at the time. To Andrew Schulz, nothing is off limits. He’ll burn members of the audience, different ethnicities and sexual orientations, or anyone that comes into his crosshairs.

He can regularly turn hecklers or just audience members who’ll shout out random things into a joke. He’s not particularly mean about it and watching him crack up at the zingers is part of what makes him so appealing. He’s having a good time. You know it, he knows it, and if anyone were to walk into the room in the middle of one of his sets, they’d know it too.

Andrew has achieved a huge spike in fame as of late, firstly because he’s so damn funny, but also because the man is a genius. Instead of smashing out a full, hour-long special onto whatever platform paid the most (the offers weren’t really coming anyhow), he did his homework. He realized that most people watching hour long specials are only watching for roughly a half hour at a time. This is data that anyone can access, however, Andrew Schulz decided to do something about it. So he shot a special and instead of releasing it all in one long form show, he broke it up into several clips, bit by bit. He put it out on YouTube for free and then something happened that no television executive would have ever imagined. People started watching his stuff for two hours on average. That’s four times the amount of attention comedy fans were giving to every other comedian.

His likeability skyrockets the more you are exposed to his brand of humour. So much so that he released an entire special on crowd work (making fun of audience members) on the same day as Dave Chappelle’s new Sticks and Stones special. The video has over a million views and is possibly one of the funniest “stick it to the crowd” sets ever. He makes fun of everyone and the entire room laughs together. His comedy genius is most admirable in these situations because it’s off the cuff hilarity that only truly funny people have in them. 

Expanding on how great of a social media based comic he is, he’s released countless clips on different platforms with well placed captions that somehow successfully display the emphasis he puts on certain words, punchlines, and tags. The bits are funny even without sound, but if you take the split second to tap the screen, you’re in for a real treat as his delivery and timing is so perfect you’ll think these bits are staged.

Cheers to Andrew Schulz for keeping us laughing at everyone, including ourselves!!!

Andrew’s comedy can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheAndrewSchulz 

CoronaDiary: Aftermath of a Global Pandemic

The following diary entries were found on the body of John C. Simmons on November 10, 2021. His notes and short pages were in shambles. The information has since been sorted through and pondered over until a young writer was able to assemble it into a coherent synopsis.

June 14, 2020

Day 90 of quarantine. This is the first time in my life I haven’t had the opportunity to go out and enjoy my birthday. FaceTiming with friends and family has filled the days, reminding me of better times. Once this all blows over, I’ll be on the next flight home to see my parents. I miss them. I miss my mom’s warm embrace and I miss my dad’s comforting and familiar cynicism. I just can’t wait for this to be done.

The pandemic is revealing all the flaws in our country and national leadership. Proving the complete incompetence of our president and his administration, the Governors have taken over commanding their states. Some are better than others, but they are all an improvement over the man that was supposed to make this country great again.

Trump’s now picking fights with China over the old “you started it” nonsense. I don’t disagree that this stemmed from China, or Trump’s assessment of the situation equating it to an arsonist lighting a house on fire during a party. How did it go? Something like, “If you’re at a house party and some idiot lights a fire in the bathroom, you don’t blame everyone, you blame the arsonist.” Which is absolutely correct. 

What he failed to mention was that if the other guests smell smoke and just stand around denying there’s a problem, or worse, fan the flames; to some degree they are also to blame.

Either way, I don’t think this is the time to pick fights. We need to work together to get through this.  

August 26, 2020

What the fuck happened to this world? I’ve spent months now locked inside my studio apartment. Cut off from the outside, my family, my friends. The internet has been down for the last 3 weeks, cutting off the entire home food delivery system; something we’ve been forced to accept as normal once all the supermarkets and grocery stores were closed. Restaurants and bars were done a month ago once they proved to be irresponsible in the fight against COVID-19. 

Yesterday, the news erupted. After months of partisan bullshit, mindless squabbling, and division that this country hasn’t seen since the civil war, the hammer finally came down, ending the reign of our inept leader. A leader that ignored all warnings and cared only for himself, his image, and his money.

While most publications and broadcasts didn’t even bother to objectively analyze what had happened, choosing instead to point fingers and continue their bitching, the report from PBS read something like this:

Forty-fifth president Donald Trump was relieved of his post today after a mother of two young girls and sole caregiver to both her parents lost her family to COVID-19. The president, as he regularly did, denied responsibility over his late and inept response to the pandemic. His departure came in the form of a hollow point bullet during a press conference this morning. Secret service officers didn’t even so much as flinch to save Trump. The shooter, who has been allowed to remain anonymous, was unobstructed in her quest to punish the late president. Hooded and somewhat shielded from the camera lenses, she marched directly up to his podium, drew her firearm, and unloaded the entire magazine of her semi-automatic pistol into the president’s body on live TV. When pressed for information, Secret Service agents, Trump’s administration, and all other suspected parties have remained silent.

Melania fled the country with her son, Barron. They haven’t been seen since late June. I have to say, I don’t blame her. 

Ivanka, Jared, Don Jr. and Eric have each been accused of several counts of embezzlement, racketeering, and conspiracy to commit fraud. They’re waiting for their trials in an undisclosed prison. Tiffany, “the embarrassment”, is the state’s prime witness.

Mike Pence, the silent VP, has stepped into the president’s position against the wishes of Congress. They felt he’d be “inadequate” in handling the crisis. Most citizens suspected he’d try to “pray the disease away”. I was one of them.

Instead, Pence actually surprised us all by allowing Dr. Fauci to immediately enact the exact measures that were required and recommended months ago. And to think, all it took was a pandemic, a full government cover up, and a loaded gun to put this country on the right track.

November 16, 2020

The world is fucked! A bunch of states have been without power for weeks. Everyone’s panicking. The growing number of low income areas have spiked the suicide and murder rates. The body count from COVID-19 is now more than 10 million worldwide. But the number of indirect deaths are more than triple that.

Trapped in my apartment until earlier this week. I had to leave quickly. The place was starting to smell and some looters had been busting down doors and robbing people in their apartments.

I’m using an old gas mask I used to use for smoking weed to keep me from contracting anything. I’ve got a backpack with a few supplies including a hunting knife, a blanket, a couple of lighters, a few other basics, and this small notepad to keep track of days and jot down some thoughts. It’s the only thing keeping me sane.

I’ve been sleeping for no more than an hour at a time and scavenging for food. I don’t know if I’ll make it. I need to find permanent shelter too. I’ve been doing my best to blend in with crowds of homeless people. Thieves don’t seem to bother them. They move in huge packs like a zombie horde. I just do my best to blend in while keeping some distance. 

Pence has proven his lack of ability by making similar mistakes to Trump and falling victim to the powers of the lobbyists, proving Congress right. He was removed from office. 

Bernie Sanders and the rest of the Senate now run the country as a Council in place of appointing a new Commander-in-Chief. They are working everyday to restore order and balance to the country, but that time is long gone.

The 2020 presidential race was cancelled two weeks ago, exactly one day before the election after Democratic nominee Joe Biden lost his battle to COVID-19. I can’t believe they’ve bothered to drag it out this long. The country is falling apart and they’re just going about their business like nothing’s happening.

The rest of the world is also a giant shit pile.

China has now taken over as the most powerful world leader in recorded history. They’ve formed a stranglehold on the rest of the world and driven almost every nation into poverty. 

The remains of The World Health Organization have now reported that the Chinese government downplayed the virus and covered up hundreds, maybe thousands of early deaths so that the world would under-react and be overwhelmed. 

They began a full investigation into China’s role and exactly how they’ve “weaponized” the virus, asking for the U.N. to intervene. But, as China’s power grew virtually overnight, they used their new influence to disband the U.N. and crush the investigation.

For the sacrifice of a few thousand Chinese citizens, the People’s Republic of China has taken the reins by decimating the global economy and turning countries on themselves.

America was going to go to war with China. Hell, I wanted to blast those assholes to the moon. But knowing that it would essentially destroy the planet, we seceded, ironically on Sept 11. 

Sanders agreed to be ruled under a new constitution formed by a coalition of American and Chinese officials. This won’t go well.

January 22, 2021

Millions more are dead across the planet. This fuckin virus has destroyed the world.

Mom and dad both got sick around Christmas. Mom pulled through, but dad didn’t make it. It ripped through him like a thresher through a wheat field. Mom’s living with Christine now. I don’t know how long they’ll be able to last. The apple really doesn’t fall far.

Sander is a fuckin’ idiot! China went back on its word to form a coalition. They began ruling from “on high” with an iron fist. Rationed medical supplies and leveraging everything they can to keep other nations on their knees, the New Republic of China has risen. Fuck!

They’ve hoarded all the best scientists, medicine, and vaccines for themselves, leaving the rest of the world to fend for itself or fall in line for a few crumbs.

Europe’s been completely quarantined with no one allowed to enter or leave. It has become its own little world within a world. It seems crazy, but they’re probably better off.

Canada and Russia were able to rally their people to save the majority of the population. Their access to some of the largest reserves of natural resources also proved useful to China. Putin and Trudeau, a couple of sleazy, anti-American communists, agreed that the lives of their people were more important than previous alliances. So they’ve now sided with China.

The overlords have appointed tens of thousands of soldiers along the American / Canadian border and several thousand on the Russian border with Eastern European countries to keep Europeans from leaving their isolated hot zone. China’s president has issued a shoot-to-kill order on both fronts.

We used to mock Canada and Russia, now we envy them. I still hate both countries.

March 11, 2021

I abandoned my place months ago and running with the homeless had its own issues. 

I’m holed up in a bunker that I found out in the middle of the wilderness. It’s totally stocked with enough canned food to last me a while. It has solar panels and a power bank for electricity. I’ve put in a bunch of sniper ports for 360 degree surveillance. There’s also a bunch of guns here and my vantage points will give me the upper hand over trespassers. I fear everyday that the owner of this place is alive and on their way to take it back.

America didn’t cooperate with other world leaders, nor did the citizens when it came to following any rules. Everyone’s fuckin “civil liberties” were too important. We never learned from our mistakes and now those freedoms we once enjoyed, are gone.

Between the virus itself, which has now mutated and is much more dangerous, and the citizens of the country turning on one another, more than 150 million Americans are now dead. Murder and theft is the new normal for a country that used to be the pinnacle of modern civilization.

Some nights I sit and reflect on the way we used to be as Americans. All the things we took for granted, the ability to come and go as we please, visiting friends and family, connecting with and loving one another. Then I think about the way we squandered those blessings. I try not to cry. It’s tough, but emotions are a weakness.

June 14, 2021

I’m tired and the confines of this bunker are starting to get to me. 

My sniper ports have come in handy a few times. There’s a ravine about a half mile away where I dumped the bodies. It didn’t feel right. None of this does. But it’s getting easier. 

There is one broadcast that my small radio picks up. It’s on all day and mostly just static. Once a day, they play a ten minute global news update. When it does play, I’m just happy to hear a third voice.

India tried to fight back against the power of the New Republic of China. Bunch of idiots! With America’s entire arsenal and elite special forces hired as mercenaries, China crushed them in a matter of a few days. Of the 900 million Indians left after the COVID-19 outbreak and civil warring, China obliterated more than three quarters of the remaining population in the short battle. The global population is now down to just under five billion.

My 30th birthday has come with some more terrible news. North Korea has joined China, Russia, and Canada. Kim Jong Un finally came out of hiding and has pledged every man, woman, and child to China’s war efforts. The “Little Rocket Man” will sacrifice his entire country to save his own hide and keep what power he has left.

August 25, 2021

I’m trapped in the bunker most days. I’m starting to hear more voices. Sometimes they’re from a passing nomadic tribe. Sometimes they’re not. 

I’ve spent some time outside camouflaging the bunker. The odd wanderer gets a little too curious sometimes. I’ve rolled 25 more bodies into the ravine.

Solar panels are starting to fail, and I have to limit the power I use. I’m hunting now. I’ve learned to dress my kills, cook on an open flame, cure meats and filter water on the go in preparation for leaving this place.

I never thought I’d say this but I’m moving to Canada. It’s a long trek, probably 20-30 days walking, but if I can cross the border, I’ll try to blend in as a Canadian and live the rest of my life there. Eh!

October 1, 2021

I’m so tired. The voices have gotten louder.

It took longer than I thought, but I made it to the border of Michigan and Canada. My journey here was mostly uneventful. The cured meats and water filtration have kept me going. I found shelter in abandoned homes and barns, even an old steel mill. I can just imagine that place at its peak. Hot, steamy, hundreds of workers keeping the manufacturing machine moving. But now it’s cold and still; the temperature of death.

I avoid other people at all costs. I had one close call with a small family in the steel mill. I came around a corner and was face-to-face with a man holding a lifeless child, a woman that looked like she had been beaten and possibly raped, and a young boy that hid behind his parents. I said nothing. I just pushed past them. I hope they make it.

I’ve scouted the border patrol for the last 24 hours looking for any sign of weakness. There are few, but they exist. Tomorrow I will cross, but for now, I must save my strength.

October 3, 2021

I made it. I’m in Canada. The cold weather is already starting to move in. I need to find shelter before the temperature drops any more. We never got this shit weather in Tennessee. But we had a lot of it growing up in Albany. 

I’m happy to be in a safer place, but I can’t stop thinking about what got America to this point.

After all the fear mongering, it turns out the biggest threat to our safety wasn’t immigrants, terrorists, taxes, our leaders or the government they formed – it was ourselves. Our hubris. Our inflated sense of self worth. It was the individualism and freedom we boasted about for decades, centuries even. We failed to listen to those that were smarter than ourselves. Foolish pride superseded our better judgment. But ultimately it was our inability to realize that there is no greatest or freest country. On this big spinning rock there are only humans, our beliefs, and whether or not we have the capacity to love and care for one another.

Photo by Scott Rodgerson on Unsplash

NPH: Hockey School Run by Former Pros

“I’ve always been the guy to bring people together, taking the young guys under my wing and looking out for them. Helping with confidence and including them in the group on and off the ice.” This love and eagerness to pass on the understanding of the game is why former New Jersey Devil, Matt Corrente started the elite, Next Pro Hockey (NPH) school four years ago. Alongside his brother David, a decorated University hockey and OHL champion and Kineisologist, and friend Domenic Monardo, an AHL and ECHL alumni, the three set out to create an experience for young players that would not only teach them fundamentals and perfect their skills, but would also be an enjoyable experience.

Matt Corrente fires a slap shot!

As an elite level player, Matt was exposed to a bevy of different hockey schools and camps. Remembering some of his earliest hockey school memories, Matt wants to give his students the most relevant and exciting experience. “As a kid, I went to every hockey school and I remember there were some that I dreaded going to. They have to understand that there’s a time when they have to put the work in but you also need to have fun.”

While fun is something that is desired by all students, Matt insists that the most important things these young players can learn are respect, and how to skate. The former improves and educates the students as people, teaching them to value others. The latter, much like respect, is a fundamental that is 100% necessary for success. Matt understands the importance of perfecting these two attributes at an early age, “The younger, the better for each of these aspects. Some older students come in with bad habits that need to be broken or reformed. It’s just easier to start them off on the right track.”

For Matt, David, and Domenic, steering their students in the right direction goes well beyond just treating each other well and burning laps around the ice. The school focuses on getting the kids to do drills and exercises they don’t normally do. The typical session starts with power skating with an emphasis on edge work. The group is then broken into stations to hone specific skills in all areas of hockey including shooting and passing, stick/puck control, and battle drills. The drills are constantly changing to give the students variety and work on the intricate nuances that separate the all-stars from the average player.

A group of promising young athletes.

Separating NPH from the standard hockey school is the continuation of training once the players have left the ice. Matt’s goal with the school is to train the future stars of hockey by giving them instruction on how to think and act like a professional. “We go into as much detail as possible like what to eat the night before a game, on game day, on practice day, how to warm up properly, stick handling drills, or how to warm up with a buddy.” NPH also teaches students about other aspects of elite level hockey of which most young players are never instructed. From dressing room etiquette to presenting themselves both on and off the ice, NPH offers young players a complete professional hockey training experience.

TOOL: Fear Inoculum Tour

In my 23 years of being a TOOL fan and having seen the band live eight times, I can confidently state that the Fear Inoculum Tour harboured their best performance I’ve ever been fortunate enough to experience. And an experience it was.

The Show

The colourfully vibrant visual effects rocked the senses beyond that of any previous concert. Mind bending projections and lasers engulfed the backdrop. Moving lighting rigs pulsed like the music’s heartbeat. And an innovative use of ropes that performed like a transparent screen between the crowd and the stage offered a level of depth that perfectly matched the depth of what I call TOOL’s rock symphonies. After many years of evolution, TOOL’s show has finally become a cohesive unit to make one of the most complete concert experiences ever. 

The only downfall would have been for anyone at extreme viewing angles. Since the visually captivating effects are designed from a front-and-centre vantage point, experiencing what the light and stage technicians intended would require a seat from approximately somewhere in front of the stage. The difference between a head-on view and what the people saw at those extreme angles is the difference between just watching and truly experiencing the show.

The Band

Danny Carey was tight as hell, hitting every beat and carrying the tempo on his shoulders as only a man of his stature and ability can. As one of the best drummers in the world today, Carey had no problem executing with pinpoint precision for the entire length of the set. 

Justin Chancellor’s bass didn’t just add subterranean frequencies, it packaged and air mailed them via a drop kick directly to your chest. To hear a slappy bass or just a low end can be a treat, but Chancellor took the instrument’s potential to a new level.

Adam Jones’ guitar sang every song like Luciano Pavarotti, absolutely nailing all intended notes, noises, and nuances. His artistic creativity was on full display and we as adoring fans lapped it up gratefully.   

Maynard was… well… Maynard. Thunderous vocals, angelic melodies, strange animal like movements made him the icing on the TOOL cake. 

The Finale

TOOL covered songs from every album, save for Undertow, providing a more than acceptable cross-section of their musical catalogue. However, the final song, Stinkfist, was preceded by something not normally seen at TOOL’s shows. Maynard allowed everyone to take out their phones, even jokingly calling for the security to “stand down”. Unfortunately, the irony was probably lost on the majority of the audience, since the song is about the ongoing cycle of boredom and stimulus. Nevertheless, fans itching to use their little digital comfort rectangles didn’t hesitate to whip them out and film the entire closer.

While they were busy screwing around with zooming, getting a steady shot, and optimizing their audio, none of which would ever do it justice, magic was unfolding before their very eyes, as was something else. 

The way the band left the stage felt almost like a farewell. Since the new album is advertised as the culmination of TOOL’s evolutionary music, it’s only fitting for this to be the final tour, with all the members open to go on to whatever other projects they’d like. While I hope this isn’t the case, there was an overwhelming feeling of closure. 

TOOL may very well be done, but the music, the community, and the inspiration of their art will live on. Who knows? Maybe they’ll release a new album in 20 years called “Afterlife” or maybe not.

Cheers to Danny, Adam, Justin, and Maynard for all the great music, and to the stage, lighting, and sound crew for the absolutely mind blowing experience.

The Parallels of the Cannabis and Beer Industries

As the “budding” cannabis industry continues to “blossom”, we are beginning to see the industry take shape. It has already begun to morph into something that I believe mirrors the beer industry.

While I can’t bring price into the conversation because I believe that we still have a lot of head way to make in this brand new industry, I can compare the products, which I definitely have more experience with.

Canopy Growth is the ABInbev of the Canadian cannabis market. They both produce massive amounts of a mediocre product, have huge advertising budgets, and cater to casual smokers, less educated in what comprises “high-quality”. Aurora, which has a couple of good strains, would be the MillerCoors of the industry, and I guess I’ll call Tilray, the Sapporo of cannabis, although I have much more experience with Sapporo’s beer than I do Tilray’s cannabis.

What I find fascinating though is that since the cannabis industry was illegal for so long, the small batch producers haven’t had to wait for some craft product explosion to find their niche. There are plenty of smaller growers that are pumping out some mind-blowing and mind-expanding strains that would leave companies like Canopy and Aurora scratching their heads about how they could possibly compare, if only they actually cared.

These smaller growers aren’t all necessarily on the legal market and I don’t recommend someone put themselves in any legal danger, but the quality level isn’t even comparable to the big players and is far more nuanced in flavour, look, smell, taste, and most importantly – the high.

Over time, I’m sure some other companies will pop up, conglomerates will reshape the landscape, and the education level of the general public will increase. When that happens, I hope that the producers in this exciting new industry give the people what they want instead of just growing mass quantities for the sake of profits.

I Didn’t Become a Writer

To the Positive Writer,

Submitted for your approval, a story that holds the truth behind a desperate and depressed individual seeking purpose in a world he once thought held nothing for him.

MY STORY

I was born in Hamilton, Ontario in 1982, to a man of Sicilian ancestry and a woman whose roots trace to England. He was a hardworking man that dedicated his career to building a successful business so he could provide for his family and she was a loving and caring mother that dedicated her life to making her family happy.

At 12 years old, my father put me to work as a helper for his delivery drivers. It was not a glamorous job, but I made more money than my friends and learned the value of hard work. I also ate all the french fries I could shove in my mouth since our customers mainly owned fish and chip restaurants.

That job went on for three summers, after which I graduated to the warehouse. I worked there each summer until I was 18 and eventually left to pursue a career in the culinary arts. I went to a culinary academy in Hamilton where I studied gourmet cooking and eventually landed a seasonal job over Christmas at an upscale Italian restaurant. Knowing it would be short lived, I moved to a steadier position running the kitchen at a hot table in a local grocery store.

After realizing that this life was not for me, I returned to school to take a year long business management program. I took several jobs following my graduation, but still hated what I was doing. So again, I went back to school and studied photography.

This new path led to several jobs in retail sales, school photography, food photography, wedding photography, and the one type that I actually loved, which was shooting live concerts. I inevitably moved into videography and did several independent projects. However, I did not fully dedicate myself to the craft. I became frustrated with the pace and lack of creativity in the projects and eventually lost interest.

For the next ten years, I returned to sales. I sold food to restaurants for four different companies. I gained unwanted experience with bad interviews, both on my part and the part of the interviewer. I was called in for interviews for pyramid schemes, hustlers, and borderline criminals. But all of these experiences only led to more self-doubt and depression.

In 2015, during a short stint of unemployment, I started a blog just for fun. I realized I enjoyed the writing process, but like always, I talked myself out of pursuing it, since all I had ever seen in the media about writers is that most of them are starving. So I pushed that idea aside and continued with my feeble attempts at landing jobs.

In 2017, I was once again between jobs, this time it was less than a month. I was indescribably depressed which had driven me to my wit’s end. I realized I just needed to change. I was scrolling through Facebook one day and discovered a man named Gary Vaynerchuk (details about this can be found here https://ceeyarsblog.com/2018/03/06/you-need-more-gary-vee-in-your-life/) and he basically told me to figure it out and get my ass moving.

This one 45 second video acted as a catalyst in my pursuit of happiness and a successful career in something I love. (I have outlined the steps I took in this article https://ceeyarsblog.com/2019/04/08/the-steps-to-my-personal-success/)

In May of 2017, I started a new job selling electronics in a retail store that was to act simply as a means to contribute to the household income while I did my schooling. At the same time, I started my first online writing class through a local college.

Now, just over two years later, I have finished my schooling, secured a full time job as a content writer, have had several articles published, and I try to contribute to my blog whenever possible. I am also currently working on a screenplay and a novel in my free time and will be starting an eight-week internship in September to gain more experience in sports writing.

As I am enjoying this adventure and truly loving what I am doing more everyday, I like to take time to reflect on how I’ve made it to this point and that I never really became a writer. The writer was already inside me, I just had to let it out.

Trump is NOT the cause of Racial Division

Everyone is so quick to point a finger at Donald Trump for his remarks about race and people of other countries. While his words are deplorable, he is not the cause of the racial divide. 

Donald Trump may be a lot of things; a liar, a self-centered misogynist, possibly a promotional genius, but the one “favor” he’s done for his country is pry the lid off the underlying racism that is woven into the fabric of the USA.

Racial divide has been a part of America’s history for generations. This group versus that. These people don’t like those people for whatever inane reason. But it has always been present. What Trump has done is show everyone that it is alive and well. And maybe, just maybe, shedding the light on this fact, he could inadvertently help to stop racism. It won’t be today, but he certainly is paving the way for rational progressives to be taken seriously.

There are only so many jokes that can be made at the expense of the belligerent ramblings of Donald Trump, but eventually the greater majority of the American people will wake up and understand that they need to stop laughing at the cheap shots and begin to take these matters more seriously. Citizens of the same country shouldn’t be fighting among themselves, but rather for a better future for their children and grandchildren.

Regardless of the leader, the hatred and superiority complexes of the divided groups need to be fixed. So start today, by being a better person, treating everyone you come in contact with, with kindness and understanding. After all, the strength of a country lies within its citizens working as a cohesive unit, while treating everyone as an individual with dignity and respect. It certainly does not or at the very least, should not rely on a figurehead like the “president”.